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Family Fortunes

The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on a British television show "Family Fortunes". If you've ever doubted that the families who appear on this show are of sub-human intelligence, doubt no longer - they are all morons and Les Dennis is their King...
Apologies if any of you or your nearest and dearest have actually appeared on the show.

Q. Name something a blind person might use
A. A sword

Q. Name a song with moon in the title
A. Blue Suede Moon

Q. Name a bird with a long neck
A. Naomi Campbell

Q. Name an occupation where you need a torch
A. A burglar

Q. Name a famous brother and sister
A. Bonnie & Clyde

Q. Name a dangerous race
A. The Arabs

Q. Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A. A horse

Q. Name something that floats in the bath
A. Water

Q. Name something you wear on the beach
A. A deckchair

Q. Name something Red
A. My cardigan

Q. Name a famous royal
A. Mail

Q. Name a number you have to memorise
A. 7

Q. Name something in the garden that's green
A. Shed

Q. Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A. A bicycle with wings

Q. Name something you might be allergic to
A. Skiing

Q. Name a famous bridge
A. The bridge over troubled waters

Q. Name something a cat does
A. Goes to the toilet

Q. Name something you do in the bathroom
A. Decorate

Q. Name an animal you might see at the zoo
A. A dog

Q. Name something associated with the police
A. Pigs

Q. Name a sign of the zodiac
A. April

Q. Name something slippery
A. A conman

Q. Name a kind of ache
A. Fillet 'O' Fish (?)

Q. Name a food that can be brown or white
A. Potato

Q. Name a jacket potato topping
A. Jam

Q. Name a famous Scotsman
A. Jock

Q. Name something with a hole in it
A. Window

Q. Name a non-living object with legs
A. Plant

Q. Name a domestic animal
A. Leopard

Q. Name a part of the body beginning with 'N'
A. Knee

Q. Name a way of cooking fish
A. Cod

Q. Name something you open other than a door
A. Your bowels

 

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Copyright Roy Dickason, October 2002 and May 2013.