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A hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the three grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of night-caps.

One questions the other two, "look it's our wedding night and I was wondering how many times are we expected to...um... you know....do it!"

The other two look blankly at him, then they all delve into a conversation about whether the usual once is enough, or should they go for twice, as its a special occasion!

Anyway they decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes, with the idea that over breakfast they'll discuss what went on.

Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on fellas we can't discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table with our wives sat with us."

"No you're right, what we'll do then, for every piece of toast you order with your breakfast, that's how many times you did it" offers another groom.
They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.

The next day in the hotel breakfast parlour they're all looking a bit dishevelled and the wives have the hairstyle known as the 'Just Shagged Look'.
The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Yes I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please".

The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his prowess.

The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I shall also have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast"

The other two grooms turn making pistols from their fingers and shoot the FOUR shooter groom.

The waitress gets to the last groom "I TOO shall have the FULL English breakfast please, yet I shall have," he takes a deep breath and surveys the room, "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him rubbing their privates thinking how raw their friend must be.

"Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress "why that's an awful lot"

"Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order then turns away, but before she leaves, the seven times a night groom calls after her again. "And by the way love, make two of them brown!!!"


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Copyright Roy Dickason, October 2002 and April 2019.